Ever since I can remember, my mother had a love affair with Kleenex. Looking back, my only regret is that I never purchased shares in the Kimberly-Clark company before 2015, the year she passed. I could’ve made a fortune. I’m sure stocks have plummeted since then. I’d estimate Mom single-handedly accounted for at least 25% of their national sales, annually.
I’m reminded of the popular magician’s trick of pulling an unending line of scarves out of a hat, the way Mom pulled an unending supply of Kleenexes out of her bra. A gambler always has an Ace up his sleeve the way Mom always had a Kleenex up hers.
Mom was to Kleenex as the character Bubba in Forest Gump was to shrimp:
She had yer solid colored rectangular boxed Kleenex, spayshal design rectangular boxed Kleenex, cube boxed Kleenex, celler phane wrapped mini packs of Kleenex…not to mention the custom packed zip lock baggie full which I always kept in the car door next to Mom’s seat, so that whenever she’d ask: “Anybody got a Kleenex?” there was always one available, because she’d forgotten she had some in her purse, some in her bra, and one up her sleeve.
When she still made her own weekly grocery list, it always included 5 boxes of Kleenex.
When I cleaned out her condo during the move to Assisted Living, I found 37 boxes of Kleenex … 10 under the bathroom sink, 10 in the hall linen closet, 10 in her clothes closet, two on her kitchen counter and the rest placed, one on every table.
Mom’s attachment to Kleenex was so strong, that in her last few months, she would touch a Kleenex to her nose, blow once (a dry blow) and toss the Kleenex. I cringe just thinking about the rain forests she single-handedly destroyed.
One of my greatest regrets is that I didn’t introduce Mom to Puffs Plus ‘til she was 94…She had no idea such softness existed in the world of hankies, and rued the fact that she had never heard about them before.
Oh well, Procter and Gamble’s loss.